1970.
Jenny and Ollie.
Sarah Marie ⚓️🐳
Cape May, New Jersey.
I want to marry you, and watch the fire in your eyes burn as your face begins to wrinkle. I want to see how you are 50 years from now, and know that I married the girl whose soul could never die. I want to hear you when you’re angry and to laugh when you are happy, I want to know that I have someone who understands that life is tough, but it’s good when you have someone with you. I want to know that at the end of my life, I had someone that I could love and who loved me back.
She’s the girl that has a few friends and doesn’t need anyone, the girl that laughs the hardest at her own jokes. The girl that expects way too much. Doesn’t care what anyone thinks, and is nice to everyone. She’s the girl that will hang up on you, but call you back and say sorry. The girl that will put all her trust in until you give her a reason not to. She’s the girl that will never leave your side if you need her, the girl who will go out of her way to cheer you up. She’s the girl who never sleeps without her teddy bear by her side, she’s the girl who says she isn’t ticklish, but she is. She’s the girl who will not give up on you if she really believes in you. She believes in loving someone forever.
Date the girl whose hair is a mess and steals your t-shirts and kisses you in front of boys who look at her admiringly. Date the girl who wants to dance in the rain with you and make tea for you and make you laugh so hard you snort tea out your nose. Date the girl who cares so much that she can tell something is wrong just by looking at you. Date the girl who will wrap her arms around you for no reason and pay attention when you talk about the things you love, even if she doesn’t love them herself. Date the girl who looks like a lazy sunday afternoon instead of a saturday night. Yeah. Just date that girl.
Date the girl whose hair is a mess and steals your t-shirts and kisses you in front of boys who look at her admiringly. Date the girl who wants to dance in the rain with you and make tea for you and make you laugh so hard you snort tea out your nose. Date the girl who cares so much that she can tell something is wrong just by looking at you. Date the girl who will wrap her arms around you for no reason and pay attention when you talk about the things you love, even if she doesn’t love them herself. Date the girl who looks like a lazy sunday afternoon instead of a saturday night. Yeah. Just date that girl.
I don’t think so. But, I forgive you, girl, who tallied stretch marks into reasons why no one should get close. I forgive you, silly girl, sweet breath, decent by default. I forgive you for being afraid. Did everything betray you? Even the rain you love so much made rust out of your jewellery? I forgive you, soft spoken girl speaking with fake brash voice, fooling no one. I see you, tender even on your hardest days. I forgive you, waiting for him to call. I forgive you, the diets and the cruel friends. Especially for that one time you said ‘I fucking give up on love, it’s not worth it, I’d rather be alone forever’. you were just pretending, weren’t you? i know you didn’t mean that. Your body, your mouth, your heart, made specifically for loving. sometimes the things we love, will kill us, but weren’t we dying anyway? I forgive you for being something that will eventually die. Perishable goods, fading out slowly, little human, I wouldn’t want to be in a world where you don’t exist.
We’re tempted by a future where we’ve finally arrived to the big time — but maybe this is it, this moment, where we’re called to be completely engaged and totally present, eye to eye, face to face, heart to heart, with the few. To change even one life is the big time.
Our efforts and networking and connections don’t always have to pay off. We plant seeds everywhere that we’re fully there. The fruits will come. Sometimes the fruit is you.
‘And when you see those good things—and I promise you, there are so many good things—they’re going to be so much brighter for you than they are for other people, just like the abyss always seems deeper and bigger when you stare at it. If you stick it out, it’s all going to feel worth it in the end. Every moment you live, every darkness you face, they’ll all feel worth it when you’re staring light in the face.
- Drink a huge glass of water right when you wake up
- Wash your face morning and night
- Workout earlier in the day
- Pick one day to do all of your laundry
- Wash your sheets regularly and make your bed daily
- If you want a piece of chocolate, eat it
- Put away your phone while you do homework, you’ll finish it faster
- Spend twenty minutes each day relaxing without a screen in front of your face
- Plan meals ahead of time
- Eat fresh fruits and vegetables whenever possible
- Moisturize when you get out of the shower
The only thing we can depend on in life is that everything changes. The seasons, our partners, what we want and need. We hold hands with our high school friends and swear to never lose touch, and then we do. We scrape ice off our cars and feel like winter will never end, and it does. We stand in the bathroom and look at our face and say, “Stop getting old, face. I command you!” and it doesn’t listen. Change is the only constant. Your ability to navigate and tolerate change and it’s painful uncomfortableness directly correlates to your happiness and general well-being.
- Drink a huge glass of water right when you wake up
- Wash your face morning and night
- Workout earlier in the day
- Pick one day to do all of your laundry
- Wash your sheets regularly and make your bed daily
- If you want a piece of chocolate, eat it
- Put away your phone while you do homework, you’ll finish it faster
- Spend twenty minutes each day relaxing without a screen in front of your face
- Plan meals ahead of time
- Eat fresh fruits and vegetables whenever possible
- Moisturize when you get out of the shower
